Dumb Ways to Die
by LiKaTaSa
Summary: These guys are not always the smartest of people and tend to have many embarrassing moments on and off screen. Here's a few :) (Based off of Dumb Ways to Die)


**1. Set Fire to Your Hair**

"Holy shit, Soul!" Maka instantly threw the soda she was holding at her partner's head, putting out the small flame in his hair.

"Agh!" Soul took a few heavy breaths, pushing his sticky hair out of his eyes and calming himself. He looked away and his cheeks pinked with embarrassment. "Um... Thanks."

"No problem..." Maka stared at her weapon for a second before asking. "Why exactly was your hair on fire?"

He turned his gaze to the dinner he'd been throwing together and sighed. He'd been able to put out the fire the food had started, but not before his own hair had taken the flames. Why does he bother using hair gel? Oh right, cause otherwise, he'd look like a white sea urchin.

"Oh." She looked upon the burnt, unrecognizable food and sighed before chuckling quietly, "And why in the world were you trying to cook dinner?"

"Oh, I don't know. 'Cause forgetting your meister's birthday isn't cool," he grumbled, pulling off her pink apron and setting it down on the dinner table before picking up the phone to order take out.

She furrowed her brows and tilted her head, frowning slightly. It was her birthday?

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you forgot your own birthday!" he said incredulously.

She shrugged. "I think birthdays are overrated. Thanks for caring, though."

"Yeah, whatever. I would have gotten you some cake, but I really don't think you're a cake kind of girl."

"That's good. I'm afraid what would have happened if I let you light the candles yourself!" She giggled and set to work on the dishes as he grumbled and mourned the loss of the clump of hair burnt off.

**2. Poke a Stick at a Grizzly Bear**

"AHAHAHAHAHA! NO MERE ANIMAL CAN HURT _ME_! I'M THE _GREAT _BLACKSTAR!" Blackstar declared as he continued to poke a hibernating grizzly bear. "Come on! Wake up! I want to see just HOW TOUGH YOU THINK YOU ARE!"

"Blackstar! Stop it! That is NOT a good idea!" Tsubaki yelled desperately, whilst trying to wrestle the stick from her meister.

A loud growl split the air.

Blackstar guffawed as Tsubaki transformed into her chains out of fear. The bear wouldn't hurt her if she was in weapon form!

"C'mon, Tsubaki! Don't tell me your scared of a little bear! AHAHAHAHA!"

The next day, Blackstar was in the infirmary with a guilty-looking Tsubaki at his side, and a large bite mark on his rump.

**3. Eat Medicine That's Out of Date**

"Ooooh, _sis._ My tummy really, really hurts..." Patti mumbled, gripping her stomach over the covers unhappily.

"Well that's what happens when you eat random pills out of bottles that are expired," Liz said, finally getting over her worried tears and thoughts. Her voice was hoarse after going on a very long and loud rant about how she didn't know if she could live without her sister and all the horrible symptoms that could appear from the expired medicine.

"Really, Patti. Stop going through the cabinets in the bathroom, you'll only end up harming yourself," Kid said resting his hand on hers. He'd also been worried, but after a look at the prescription and some advice from Professor Stein, he only gave the girl a cup of tea and tucked her under her covers. The tea should negate the effects of the pills and help Patti through the discomfort.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE EXPIRED MEDICINE IN THE FIRST PLACE, KID?!" Liz hissed furiously. She refused to lay all the blame on her sister.

"Because without the bottle, the symmetry would be thrown off, and the other bottle hadn't expired yet. For one to be thrown away, the other would have to be thrown away," Kid explained calmly to the exasperated woman.

"Honestly, why do I bother asking? Practically _everything_ you do is influenced by your crazy," she muttered, rubbing her temple furiously.

"_Sis. _Sis, sis, sis, sis, sis, _si-is!"_ Patti groaned loudly.

"Oh no! Patti, are you okay? I promise you that no matter what happens I'll never leave your side. I know you might be scared, but everything is going to be alright, alright?" Liz exclaimed, eyes tearing.

"I'm bored," Patti said smiling at her sister.

"Oh. Well, Kid! Entertain us."

Kid scoffed. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Hmm... White stripes."

And the girls took immeasurable amounts of pleasure watching him squirm on the carpet before finally helping him overcome his depression and watching Animal Planet with Patti instead.

**4. Use Your Private Parts As Piranha Bait**

"Maka, this is so _uncool_," Soul whined pathetically as they hung over the rail of the yacht. Soul and Maka had been dragged along by Blackstar and Tsubaki to go on Kid's yacht for a small celebration from the last exam Stein had given them. Both Soul and Maka had gotten sea sick.

"I'm not gonna argue with you on that, Soul," Maka groaned, taking deep breaths to ease her own nausea.

"YAHOO! NOW, I, THE GREAT BLACKSTAR, WILL ENTERTAIN HIS DISCIPLES AND CURE THEM BY BEING THE BIG STAR I AM!" A weak, yet effective Maka-Chop shut him up.

"Thank you, Maka," Tsubaki said, pulling Blackstar to a lawn chair.

"No problem," Maka grumbled, wobbling over to the railing again.

"AHHH! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF OF ME RIGHT NOW! AHHH!" Tsubaki turned to the cabin to see Kid run out with some sort of creature on his pants.

"Kid, stand still so we can shoot it!" Liz soon follows him out holding who Tsubaki assumed was her sister in weapon form.

"Absolutely not! I AM NOT LETTING YOU SHOOT ME ANYWHERE NEAR MY -AHEM- AREAS!" Kid shouted, golden eyes wide.

"THEN WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?!" Liz yelled, exasperated.

"GET IT OFF! But be GENTLE!" Kid yelled, trying to get a grip on the piranha dangerously near his crotch.

"Soul..." Maka mumbled, nudging her weapon.

"Yeah, fine... but you-" He gagged slightly, "-owe me one."

"Just call her..." she said, raising her book threateningly. No matter how shaky her hand seemed, he'd noticed how much damage it still did to Blackstar.

"Also, you can't chop me. Not for a week," he said, pulling out his phone. She nodded and he dialed the number of their third roommate. "Hey Blair. We... we have some fish for you but, " he gagged again, "but Kid has it."

Not long after the cat hung up in excitement, Kid was wearing a pair of jeans too big for him, Soul had two streaks of blood coming from his nose and a large bump on his cranium and Maka was passed out with a purple cat on her head, snacking on piranha.

**5. Get Your Toast Out With a Fork**

"You idiot. For a bookworm, you'd think that you would know better than to use a metal fork to get your toast out," Soul admonished.

"Shut up," Maka said, wincing at the pain lacing through her veins.

"_No_," Soul said, gripping the covers of her hospital bed tightly. "You are extremely lucky, Maka. You could have died. And it's not even a cool way to die, it's the stupidest way to die."

"I'm sorry," Maka said, closing her eyes.

"Damn right..." Soul scratched his head and sat down next to her. "Just... Don't do anything stupid like that again."

"Alright... I promise.." She looked over at him with one eye. "Flame head."

**6. Do Your Own Electrical Work**

"Blackstar?" Tsubaki pushed some of her hair behind her ear and furrowed her brows. She may have learned English, but late at night, when her mind is fogging, the words tend to scramble themselves up. Too bad the manual she was desperately trying to read was only in English and Spanish.

She sighed and threw the pamphlet down in frustration, rubbing her eyes. "Blackstar?"

Her blue-haired partner burst through the door and whipped his head around wildly. "What!? What happened!? What's wrong!?"

She sighed at his antics and stood up calmly after picking up the manual. She handed it to him, "Can you read this? I'm trying to set up the stereo _you_ bought."

He rubbed his eyes and looked at her with one eye open. "I thought I told you I was gonna do it."

She frowned slightly. "Were you asleep?"

"Yeah. But seriously, why are you doing it?" he asked, stifling a yawn.

"I'm sorry, if I knew you were asleep-" He grabbed her hand and looked at her with a deadpan expression. She looked down. "Well, it's been sitting in the living room for a few days now, and I didn't think you were going to do it anytime soon, so.."

"Tsubaki, I said I'd do it so I will." He let go of her and walked forward into the mess of trash and stereo parts. He scoffed, "What, did they expect us to make it from scratch?"

"Seems like it," she nodded.

He crouched down and began fiddling with some wires. "I guess we attach this... to one of these?"

"Blackstar, the manual's right here-"

"Heh, you think the great Blackstar would need a manual?" He began fiddling with the wires again until a small shock was seen and a snap was heard and he was on the floor.

"Blackstar?! Are you okay?" She ran over to him and kneeled by him.

He raised his hand weakly. "I'll look at that manual now..."

**7. Teach Yourself How to Fly**

"So you lied to me."

"Yes."

"You bastard."

"That would be me."

Ox glared at his teacher with all the fury his shiny head could muster. "Why would you lie to me like that, professor?"

"Shut up, Ox. It's not his fault that you're an idiot," Maka said coldly, itching to throw her novel at the beat up meister.

"Yes it IS! I mean, wait- ARGH! He told me if our resonance rate was high enough, if I jumped off the balcony I could achieve flight!"

Harvar rubbed his head with annoyance. He'd had to carry the broken meister to the nurses' office after he attempted the stunt and was currently trying to persuade himself not to hit the four-eyed idiot.

Stein laughed, "All I did was mix up a few big words into a sentence then say, 'you can fly'! I'm surprised you bought it all!"

"It made sense in the moment!" Ox defended.

"Ox, just shut up so the rest of us can actually _learn_ something," Maka said, slamming her book shut.

"NO! I would like some justice!" Ox yelled.

And now he has a permanent book imprint in his skull that reads 'How To Control Your Temper, by Roderick Kelly'.

**8. Eat a Two Week Old Unrefrigerated Pie  
**

Liz opened the fridge lazily looking for a snack. She'd promised herself a week ago that she would stick to her diet.

But diets are hard...

She grinned at the pie tin she saw near the back of the fridge and pulled it out as quietly as she could. She didn't want Patti waking up and catching her, nor did she want Kid pestering her so late at night. She turned and grabbed a fork out of the drawer and pulled back the foil covering the pie. It _looked_ fine.

So it must be. She shoved her fork in there and shoveled up a huge bite. She took it in her mouth and froze. She started chewing slowly.

She raised a hand to her mouth and ran to the kitchen sink, cursing herself for not being thorough in her checking of the pie's age.

It was sour.. and just plain disgusting.

**9. Invite a Psycho Killer Inside**

"Man, Tsubaki. I don't see why you couldn't go read at the library."

"Because we decided that the library closed too early."

"Then why don't you go to Kid or Maka's house?" he asked, still annoyed.

She sighed, "Because I volunteered. Also, Liz and Patti are throwing a party at Kid's house and Soul needs to catch up on sleep according to Maka. He said it'd be fine, but Maka doesn't want to risk having him stay up on our account."

Blackstar groaned and flopped onto the couch. He winced and sat up, pulling out a plate from beneath him. He grinned. "Hey, this was from Noodle Night!"

Tsubaki gagged a little and continued to gather up all of the clothes Blackstar left lying around. "Um, I'd appreciate it if you helped me Blackstar..."

"Why are you cleaning up? You never clean up when Soul or Maka comes over," he said, taking the plate to the kitchen and placing it in the sink.

"Well, this time Kid's coming over and I don't him to... Well..."

"Go bat-shit crazy?"

"Blackstar!"

"What? It's true!" His eyes widened when he realized he was doing the dishes. "W-what? Why am I-"

A knock on the door caused Tsubaki to sigh and Blackstar to be distracted.

She opened the door slowly with a shy smile. "Hello, Maka. Hello, Kid."

"Hey, Tsubaki!" Maka said with a small smile, trying to understand the sheen of sweat on her friend's forehead.

"Yes, how are you?" Kid asked, seemingly indifferent except for the polite smile on his face.

Tsubaki chuckled nervously. "Well, I know how you love order, Kid, and I've been cleaning since yesterday, but it's still kind of-"

A loud crash is heard followed by a large yell. "AW FUCK IT! TSUBAKI, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN WITH THE DISHES!"

Maka frowned and pulled out a book. She burst in, passed Tsubaki and made it to the blue-haired assassin standing next to a broken plate. She Maka-Chopped him quickly. "YOU IDIOT, WHO EXACTLY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TALKING TO?! THAT'S YOUR FREAKING PARTNER, AND SHE'S BEEN WORKING HER ASS OFF FOR-"

"Kid, are you alright?"

Maka and Blackstar turned to the door. Well, Blackstar _tried_ to.

They saw Kid standing in the door with shifting eyes, looking all around the disorganized room. His arms were straight against him. He closed his eyes and let out a breath before turning around and walking away from the mess and the small abode altogether. They all stared after him, stunned by the lack of reaction.

The three let out a consecutive breath and Maka turned back to Blackstar only to be interrupted by a loud yell. "NOPE. I MUST CLEAN IN THE NAME OF SYMMETRY!"

They all squeaked, although Blackstar will deny it firmly, and ran into Tsubaki's room, hiding while they heard crashing and grunts and even running water.

A few hours later, the home was quiet and they all creeped out to see the living room and kitchen entirely refurnished. New everything and all put symmetrically into the room.

Kid approached them with a somber expression and a tight jaw. "I... I admit I may have gone a bit far, but... You'll thank me when you finally realize how much better your life is."

"AW MAN, YOU THREW AWAY MY FUCKING COMICS TOO?!" Blackstar yelled from the kitchen.

Tsubaki cleared her throat, the pink on her cheeks very apparent. Kid rose a brow then turned to Maka who had a disgusted look on her face. Kid's mouth formed a small 'o' then he went back to his somber expression. "Yes, those are filthy to keep in the kitchen."

Tsubaki mouthed a small 'thank you' to him and he nodded.

"Hehe. Hehehe... I will get you back for that, Kid. You fucking bastard," Blackstar said rather creepily from the floor under the new coffee table.

**10. Scratch a 'Death Scythe's' ****(Drug Dealer's New) Ride**

Soul sniffed dramatically as he buried his face into the soft cushions of their couch.

"Stupid fucking kishins ruining everyone's life!" he muttered angrily, biting into the cushion and successfully tearing it open with his sharp teeth. He spit out the stuffing and frowned deeply. He looked over at the keys of his old motorcycle and felt tears come to his eyes.

The kishin they fought a month and a half ago decided that it was going to fuck up his bike.

This is why the kishin fucking _died._

And Soul was still in mourning.

Soul closed his eyes. He could still see the bent-up image of his bike in his mind's eye. Both tires had been shredded and the large seat had somehow been torn completely off. The orange paint had been chipped to almost nothing and the license plate effectively dented to be unrecognizable.

Let's not even _mention_ what happened to the engine.

Soul shivered with anger and disgust.

Who in the world is _heartless_ enough to ruin such a beautiful piece of treasure?!

The door opened slowly and Maka stumbled in tiredly, barely making it to the couch before she collapsed and laid down in the space next to him. He frowned. This was also bothering him. Not even a day after his loss and she was staying out late, not bothering to give him any details, just to return home like this. Tired as though she'd ran a freaking marathon.

Couldn't she see that he needed her in this time of pain?

He growled lowly and looked over at her. "You finally gonna tell me where you've been going for so long?"

She cracked an eye open and looked at him for a second before sighing and closing it again. "Been working."

"Working? Like, missions?" Soul asked incredulously. Sure, she had her weapon form now, but he had no idea that she'd been taking missions without him.

"No, as in, a job," she said tiredly. "Let's just say that doing five shifts in a row as a waitress is freaking hard. Especially when you're trying to save up and all you get are crappy tips."

Soul grunted, somewhat pleased that she hadn't been taking missions without him. He was also confused as to why she's been working as a waitress for the past month and what she was saving up for. "Why would you do that?"

"Well, so I could get this." She reached in her pocket and pulled out a large wad of money. "Five shifts were hard, but the tips add up. Not to mention Papa decided to visit a few times."

He stared at the money in her hand before looking back up at her. "What's it for?"

"I think this should be enough to fix up your bike. At least repair it so it'll run, I don't know so much about aesthetics," she said with a small frown. "I'll just have to keep it up till we have enough for a full revamp."

He stared at her. He looked down at the money she was holding out to him then groaned. He's such an idiot.

"Nah, you know, you didn't have to work so hard to get this money," he growled, angry at himself.

She glared at him tiredly. "Gee, your welcome, Soul. No need to thank me."

He sighed and ran a hand though his hair. "No, I'm grateful, really, but I mean, you know I could've paid for it myself, right? I told you, my family's loaded. You don't need to work yourself into the ground like this for me, Maka."

She frowned. "But you don't like talking to your family, let alone asking them for a loan. Besides, it's the least I can do for my oh-so-cool partner."

He watched her as she stood up and made her way to her room without another word. He smiled warmly at the closed door before looking down at the money in her hands.

He's definitely buying her a fucking library.

**11. Take Your Helmet Off in Outer Space**

"Screw you!"

"HAH! OF COURSE EVERYONE WANTS TO SCREW THE GREAT THE GREAT BLACKSTAR, BUT YOU'LL BE DISAPPOINTED BY-"

"You see, this is why I always win when we play against each other," Soul said smugly, tossing his controller on the floor gently and picking up his soda.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"It comes with the territory. If you choose to fight in space, you have to fight in space," Soul said.

Blackstar stared at the large letters on his half of the screen. They read something that could not apply to the great god, ever.

YOU LOSE

Who knew there was an attack to take off your opponent's helmet?

"Stupid game," Blackstar muttered, throwing his controller at Soul, who easily dodged it.

**12. Use a Clothes Dryer as a Hiding Place**

Patti tip-toed as carefully as she could through the laundry room, looking for a good hiding spot. Playing with Kiddo was always fun, he found her really easily so she had to kick it up a notch. She gasped in happiness as she found her hiding spot. She opened the clothes dryer quietly but was only able to stick one foot in before she was roughly pulled away.

"Patricia Thompson, what in the world were you thinking!?" Kiddo asked her angrily. She looked up at him innocently before smiling her child-like smile.

"I was playing hide-and-seek with Kiddo!" she giggled.

"You were what?" Kid asked, one brow raised.

"Playing hide-and-seek! Playing hide-and-seek!" she cheered.

Kid let her go and turned toward the laundry he was about to put in the dryer. "Do you know how dangerous a dryer can be? I was just about to put these clothes in there, what if I didn't notice you and just turned the damn thing on? Then you'd be crispy Patricia."

Patti looked down at her feet. "I'm sowwie, Kiddo... But you _would_ have noticed me, so I _wouldn't_ be a Crispy-Patricia!"_  
_

Kid glared at her sternly. "How can you be so sure?"

"You're Kiddo! You notice _everything_!" she giggled.

He stared at her for a bit, feeling the slightest amount of warmth upon his cheeks and then turned away and cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Just don't put yourself into dangerous situations anymore."

"Okay Kiddo!"

**13. Keep a Rattlesnake as a Pet**

"HEY TSUBAKI LOOK AT THIS COOL SNAKE I FOUND!" Blackstar yelled loudly, causing Tsubaki to pour the boiling water for her tea on the counter.

She sighed quietly and began to wipe up the mess. "What did you find, Blackstar?"

"A SNAKE! Oh, sorry, did my greatness make you spill your icky-water?" Blackstar asked somewhat apologetically as a large snake wrapped itself around his hand.

She squealed loudly and froze up, her hackles raised and the hairs on the back of her neck standing straight. "B-Blackstar? W-what is _t-that?!"_

He turned and stroked his pet. "Oh, him? He's my newest disciple-pet."

"D-disciple p-pet?"she stuttered, still paralyzed by fear.

"Yeah! He's a RATTLESNAKE, awesome, huh?" Blackstar said, still petting his snake.

The snake rose his head and turned to Tsubaki, it's beady eyes focusing on her. She stared back at it, sweat pouring down her face. It stuck out it's little pink tongue and-

_THUMP_

She fainted.

**14. Sell Both Your Kidneys on the Internet**

Kid cracked his knuckles in satisfaction. "Liz, Patti!"

The strolled in lazily and Liz looked at him with a bored expression. "Whaddya want Kid? I was painting my nails."

"Ooh! Kiddo took out his computer!" Patti said excitedly and pointed to laptop on his... lap.

"I've decided to be a good humanitarian and make a sale online to help those unfortunate souls with faulty immune systems," Kid said with a pleased smile.

Liz stared at him. "... And what the hell does that mean?"

"Ooh! Kiddo sold his Kiddo knees!"

Liz blanched. "WHAT?! YOU SOLD YOUR KNEES?!"

Kid shook his head. "No I sold my kidneys."

"Oh, okay..." she said taking a deep breath. She froze. "Wait, more than one? As in both?!"

He stared at her blankly. "If you mean I sold two of them, then yes."

"Hold up, what do you mean by 'two of them'?"

He rose a brow. "Don't you have four kidneys as well?"

She squealed in fear. "WHAT?! FOUR KIDNEYS!? THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, PEOPLE SHOULD ONLY HAVE TWO! THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM HUMAN!"

He shrugged. "Maybe it's because I'm not fully human..."

"WHY AREN'T YOU MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THIS?!"

_Thud._

Aaand, she's out for the count.

**15. Eat a Tub of Super Glue**

Soul and Blackstar were playing a one-on-one basketball game while the rest of the gang were working on a banner for a dance that was about to come up.

"No, Maka, that isn't quite straight enough."

"What now, Kid?"

"I'm just informing you that the line you just drew is a bit slanted..." he said with his hands raised submissively.

"So what?" she asked, her brow twitching with irritation.

"HEY, I FOUND GLITTER EVERYONE!" Patti squealed excitedly.

"Yeah! Glitter, not hardcover books!" Liz said half as enthusiastically. She was more concerned by the tension she was sensing from Maka and Kid.

It was a hot day! Don't blame _them_!

"How about we talk about the dance?" Tsubaki suggested.

"Yes, let's talk about the set-up. I think we should set up the table along the sides of the room symmetrically, four on each side, and all the foods the same on both sides-"

"Okay! So, Tsubaki, who are you taking to the dance?" Liz asked loudly.

Tsubaki turned and looked over at her partner questioningly. He'd paused in the game after hearing Liz and turned to the group. He grinned and approached them. "WELL OBVIOUSLY TSUBAKI IS GOING TO BE GOING WITH THE GREAT ME!"

Liz turned to him with an eyebrow raised. "And what exactly makes you thing she, let alone _anyone_ would want to go with you?"

Tsubaki rest a hand gently on Liz's. "It's alright, I like going with Blackstar. It's fun!"

Liz grunted and Blackstar ran back to Soul to continue their game. "Okay, so maybe I'm asking the wrong question. So Maka, who do you _want _to take to the dance?"

"Well I'm _going_ with Soul," Maka said monotonously. "I don't understand your question."

"Okay, then I mean, who do you like?"

Maka looked up at her blankly. "Like, _like_ like?"

Liz nodded. "Like, _like-_like like."

Kid stared at Liz and Maka. "It's because I'm a boy, right?"

"What do you mean?" Liz asked.

"It's because I'm male that I don't understand this conversation."

Patti pat his head roughly. "Exactly, Kiddo!"

"So, Maka?" Liz asked.

Maka felt her cheeks warm up and she turned to the glitter and tub of glue they had. She began spreading the glue in patterns across the banner without saying a word.

"Maka? You can tell us." Tsubaki said kindly, the gossip girl side of her being revealed.

"Yeah, and trust me, this idiot over here won't say a word if Patty has anything to do with it," Liz pointed to Kid who in turn looked at Patti who, in turn, began playing with her hair.

Kid's eyes widened and he turned to Maka with a shaky smile. "Yes, of course I wouldn't say a word!"

Maka stared at him for a moment too long and turned back to the banner. "Nope."

Liz glared at Maka. "You know we have ways of making you talk..."

Patti giggled and shifted to Maka who looked at Kid with worry in her eyes. Her cheeks began to burn and she picked up the glue and stuffed a bunch in her mouth. "_N-muh, shoo cnd vvv_ _nnnww!"_

Liz groaned. "Soul! Your meister shoved a bunch of glue in her mouth!"

Soul jogged over with a bored expression and looked over at Maka who had cheeks as red as his eyes and who was doing everything to avoid Kid's eyes. He chuckled. "So Kid found out, huh?"

Maka turned to him with a scowl and started yelling a bunch of stuff but wasn't very understandable.

"So... He didn't?"

Maka continued to scream at Soul even as he dragged her away to Stein's office.

Kid watched as she left and turned back to Liz who was grinning. "What was that all about?"

Liz turned to him and her grin grew. "You'll know soon enough, hunny-bunchkins..."

"What?" he asked blankly.

"Nothing..." she said innocently returning her attention to the banner.

**16. I Wonder What's This Red Button Do?**

"Huh.. Nothing. How disappointing..." Kid said as he walked away from the button on one of his father's guillotines.

**17. Dress Up Like a Moose During Hunting Season**

Patti squealed with excitement. Halloween is the best!

She bounded down stairs and stopped in front of her sister who was dressed up like a sexy nurse. "Ooh sis, I like your costume!"

Liz smirked. "I know, I look good, right? And you are a... cow?"

"Nope! I'm a moose!" Patti announced loudly. "And it's hunting season for giraffes and if I see one, I break their necks!"

"You do know that moose don't hunt... They don't even live anywhere near a giraffe's natural habitat," Liz informed her.

Patti pouted. "They do too hunt giraffes! There's a war between them since forever!"

"Oh, hello everyone, please come in, I believe Patti's still getting ready, but as soon as she's done we can leave."

"Cool."

"HEY KID, YOU LIKE THIS AWESOME HUNTER COSTUME I HAVE!"

"Shut up Blackstar, it has giraffe print. It's obviously a safari costume."

"Giraffe?" Patti said excitedly. Her features went dark and an insane grin appeared on her face. "Giraffe..."

Blackstar walked into the room they were in wearing a lot of khaki and giraffe print and holding a large plastic rifle. He grinned when he saw Patti in her moose costume. "Hey! A cow! Do hunters hunt cows?"

"GIRAFFE!" Patti screamed and launched herself at Blackstar.

"COW!" Blackstar screamed and launched himself at Patti.

[The rest of this scene has been edited out for reasons that are not of your concern. No one died during this scene. No giraffes were injured and Blackstar definitely did not lose the fight. But then, neither did Patti. STOP QUESTIONING ME!]

**18. Disturb a Nest of Wasps for No Good Reason**

"Maka, you're such an idiot," Soul said, spreading the prescribed rub on her stings and trying not to wince alongside her.

"I know," she sighed.

"Why the hell would you just _do_ that?" he asked.

"Wasps are creepy. And scary..." she said weakly.

"So you decided to let them swarm you?" he said in his smart-ass way.

"No, I was trying to kill them..."

"Hmm, well that worked out well."

She pushed his hand away. "Leave me alone..."

"No, I get to be a smart ass if you get to be a freaking dumb ass."

"Whatever."

"No, not whatever." He finished rubbing the rub and pulled back, wiping his hands on the couch. "Go about it in a cooler way next time. Don't let yourself be overcome like this."

"Yeah, okay, sure..."

**19. Stand On the Edge of a Train Station Platform**

Tsubaki waited impatiently for the train to come. She wanted to get back home. Her visit to her family was just awful and she couldn't wait to get back to Blackstar.

She stood on the edge of the platform and tried to ignore the tears in her eyes. She was positive that her family didn't blame her for what happened to her brother, but it was still not a very happy reunion.

"AW I GIVE UP!" She gasped at the familiar yelled and jumped, then tripped over her feet and fell off the platform only to be caught by a pair of strong arms and pulled back onto the platform. "Shit, sorry, are you okay?"

Tsubaki waited for her eyes to focus then frowned when she saw Blackstar's face inches from hers. "Blackstar? What are you doing here?"

"I kinda followed you, sorta..." he said with a sheepish smile. "I was worried or something, I guess."

Tsubaki smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "Were you actually tracking me all on your own?"

"Yeah, don't sound so surprised. I can be discreet if I wanna," he said semi-irritatedly.

"I know... I'm proud of you. And thank you for worrying about me, Blackstar..." she said with a small smile as she pecked him on the cheek.

**20. Drive Around the Boom Gates at a Level Crossing**

Soul groaned as he reached the train tracks just as the boom gates began to fall. **  
**

"Screw this, it's so not cool." He quickly maneuvered his bike around and swiftly made it to the other side just as the train was about to pass. He let out a breath then sucked it back in when he saw his meister standing outside Tsubaki's house a few yards away staring at him with her jaw dropped.

"SOUL, YOU IDIOT! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN KILLED!" she screamed, jumping over the fence and running towards him. He looked behind him and saw the train still passing and he looked back at his meister who was wielding a VERY large book.

"Hmm... Death by train or death by pig-tailed bookworm..." he muttered, seriously thinking it through.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Maka screamed as he revved his engine and began to turn around. She ran even faster toward him and tackled him, forcing him to fall off of his bike, which fell over as well. She slammed her book into his skull then dragged him away from the train, promising to herself that she would hide his keys for at _least_ a month.

**21. Run Across the Tracks Between the Platforms**

Liz set down her bags for a second, waiting for the train to come. She pulled out her phone and felt a strong gust of wind take her hat across the tracks. She groaned and took a step forward to grab it only to be pulled back as the train zoomed by and stopped. She began to hyperventilate. "OH MY GOD I ALMOST JUST DIED!"

"Yeah, you almost did." She turned and saw Soul looking at her boredly. She let out a sob and grabbed him into a hug, wrapping her arms around his torso and shoving her head into his chest.

"OH MY GOD, THANK YOU SOUL! YOU JUST SAVED MY LIFE, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO REPAY YOU!"

"How about letting go?" Soul said, a light blush upon his features. "It's not cool to act like this in front of people. Or otherwise."

"BUT YOU SAVED ME FROM DYING AND I'M SO GRATEFUL! IMAGINE IF I DIED!? THEN PATTI WOULD BE ALL ALONE AND I'D BE A GHOST AND I'D HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO LIVE LIKE THAT AND A BUNCH OF OTHER GHOSTS WOULD TRY TO EAT ME BECAUSE I'M NEW AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEFEND MYSELF!"

"... Your hat."

"Oh crap." She pulled away and began sifting through her hair. "Now I have hat hair and no hat, fucking great. My life _sucks_!"

**A/N: **Yah, I edited. Nothing's different. It's okay to hate me for giving you false hope. Not like anyone's been reading this... Just sayin'.


End file.
